


This Kind Of Thinking

by 318



Series: Trajectory [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Brothers, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 02:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/318/pseuds/318
Summary: 'Since when do you know how it feels to be dead?' Loki raised one eyebrow, sarcastic.'Oh, stop it!' Thor yelled. 'Dead, not dead - does it really matter?''I’m sure most people would say it matters, dear brother.'





	This Kind Of Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> Hei!  
> I don't really know what to say. This fic is a premiere in so many ways I already lost count:  
> \- It's the first fic ever I wrote in English.  
> \- It's my first fic in the MCU.  
> \- It's the first fic I'm posting on AO3. (I created an account for that occasion, after about... two years? of anonymous reading. But Infinity War broke me. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I can't be.)
> 
> I did my best to avoid any mistakes. Yet if you find some, please tell me, I will be happy to fix them!  
> So, in case these Notes didn't scare you off, enjoy!

The entirety of Thor’s strength was not enough to break the metal which entwined his body in its cold grip. He wanted to scream, but no sound escaped his mouth. All he could do was watch. Watch as Thanos’s fingers closed around Loki’s neck. Watch as the Mad Titan lifted his brother from the floor. Watch as Loki’s neck snapped and his lifeless body fell to the ground.

'No more resurrections.'

Thanos sounded bored, as if Loki was an unimportant, annoying fly, which buzzed around his head. He had taken care of it, but it wasn’t a big deal.

Obviously Thor’s existence wasn’t a big deal for him, either. He took no notice of the last Asgardians intensified efforts to break free. Instead, he looked down on his gauntlet with a hungry, not yet satisfied expression in his small eyes. Almost curiously he twisted his fist and the Infinity Stones wrapped him and his children in their faint gleam. Vibrations shook the vessel around them, and they vanished. 

As soon as Ebony Maw was gone, his iron shackles loosened and Thor struggled to get to his feet. He wasted no time in trying to follow them. He knew that the might of the Space Stone was nothing he could compete with. 

Crawling he reached for his brother. Loki’s eyes stared at the ceiling, unseeing.

It was not the first time Thor had to witness his brother dying, only for Loki to come back. But this time felt different and though Thor put a hand on Loki’s chest, he didn’t expect a heartbeat.

'Loki,' he said weakly. He got no answer.

Thor lowered his head to Loki’s side. The violent gleam of the Power Stone intensified and filled the room. He did not care. He was ready to die, together with his people, side by side with his brother. There was nothing left for Thor Odinson.

Subsequently an explosion convulsed the _Statesman_ and all went dark.

 

 

 

Awakening, the first thing Thor sensed was a gentle breeze caressing his face. Slowly he opened his eye. Still darkness lingered around him, but not as black as the infinite space before. A beautiful full moon sent its pale light down on him, surrounded by blinking stars. 

Immediately he recognized the scenery as sky of Midgard. He spent countless nights with Jane under this firmament, him endlessly speaking about Asgard, the Nine Realms and especially the Bifrost, to which she stubbornly referred as Einstein-Rosen-Bridge. Right now it occurred to him they hadn’t talked enough. 

A few moments he just watched the night sky before he turned his head. He laid on a soft meadow, alone. The only thing he could hear was the distant sound of waves crashing on a nearby shore of a misty sea.

Carefully he rose and examined his body. He looked for the injuries the Mad Titan and his servants brought him, but he was healthy and whole. He did not even feel pain.

Actually, he felt nothing. This place - he remembered this place. Here his father died and Hela destroyed Mjølnir. But instead of great agony and fury there was solely numbness filling his soul.

He crossed his arms and waited. Thor had no idea what he was waiting for but he knew there had to be a reason for him being here. It was a place of importance. 

Of course he didn’t get disappointed. 

'You are really boring to watch, brother.'

Loki just stood there. He wore the same clothes he was killed in, but they were clean and not battle-worn. His voice was mocking, as usual. Only his eyes betrayed the slightest hint of concern.

Thor tilted his head without desisting from overlooking the sea. 'Brother.'

'Is that - all you have to say? _Brother_?'

Sighing he finally turned to look Loki in the eyes. 'What did you expect me to say?'

'Do you know where we are?' Loki asked, unusually kind. 

'Yes. And it’s definitely not Valhalla, so we’re not dead. You faked your death. Again. I should have anticipated it. You become predictable.'

Though he tried hiding it, his voice sounded weary. Hurt. Loki chuckled softly.

'You know this is not true. You know I’m dead, don’t you? You don’t even throw pebbles at me.'

Thor swallowed. 'I thought so. That raises the question - why are we here? I don’t feel - dead.'

'Since when do you know how it feels to be dead?' Loki raised one eyebrow, sarcastic.

'Oh, stop it!' Thor yelled. 'Dead, not dead - does it really matter?' 

'I’m sure most people would say it matters, dear brother.' 

Groaning Thor went to the nearest stone and sat down. Loki followed him, quietly, and placed himself next to his brother. A few minutes they just sat side by side and let their thoughts wander, until Thor broke the silence. 

'It was a stupid attempt on Thanos’s life. You shouldn’t have tried killing a Titan who wields two Infinity Stones with a dagger.' 

Almost involuntarily Loki played with his sleeve, revealing the said dagger. 'I did not try to kill him.'

Thor looked at him, disbelieving. 'Then _what_ did you try?' 

A smirk crossed Loki’s face. 'For that matter, I did not only try, but I succeeded. Do you remember what I told you about Thanos’s motivations?' 

'Kill whole peoples to get the Infinity Stones? And with them he wants to kill everyone who’s left?'

Loki shook his head. 'No, his superior motive is balance. He only wants to kill one half of a people. Of each people in the universe, may I add.'

'Ah, I am very sorry. I wronged him. He is not as bad, is he? Wants just to wipe out _half_ of the universe. Sweet little rascal.' 

'Thor!' Loki actually got annoyed. 'Can you not even listen to me when I’m dead?' 

'I am sorry,' Thor repeated, this time truly apologetical. 'Please, go on.'

Loki gave him a suspicious look, before he continued. 'He wants balance. At the time he gets all Infinity Stones, he will slaughter by chance. But until then - he _selects_ who to kill.'

He paused and glanced at Thor, expectantly. 'Do you understand?'

'No,' Thor openly admitted. 'Stop beating around the bush.'

Loki breathed 'oaf', but it sounded not unfriendly. 'We are brothers. _Two_ brothers. Which means that he would kill one of us and I tried to make sure that the one wasn’t you. That left only me as candidate for the whole dying-thing.'

Thor stared at his younger brother, who, clearly embarrassed, didn’t look him in the eye. 

'I love you too.'

'Don’t mistake this for sentiment,' Loki hissed. 'We both know that you are by far more suited to kill Thanos. It was a rational decision.'

'To give up your life to defeat Thanos?' Thor shook his head. 'You would never do such a thing.' 

'I did, do you remember? You were there.' 

'Tell me why.'

Abruptly Loki stood up and paced around Thor. 'I just can’t stand the thought of him winning after all he did. You should be familiar with this motivation, you are one of these Avengers. Stark said it to me, back then in New York. ‘If we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we’ll avenge it.’ It is this kind of thinking.'

He finally met Thor’s eye, only to see him smiling. 'What?'

'We failed to protect Asgard, so you wanted us to avenge it?' 

'That’s _not_ what I intended!'

'So… you tried to protect me, and I would be able to avenge you?' Thor laughed, nearly lighthearted.

'Quit laughing at me! That’s not the point!' Loki stopped and waved at him furiously, his hand still clasping the dagger. 

Thor instantly broke off and buried his face in his hands. He could no longer hide his exhaustion. 'I’m done with conversations like this. You talk and talk and talk and say nothing.'

'It was not an actual metaphor. I said, it’s this kind of thinking!' Loki’s voice was still annoyed, but he took his seat next to Thor again, knees touching. 

'And you choose my life over yours because this kind of thinking? _What_ kind of thinking? I don’t get it,' Thor asked muffled. 

'Would you have preferred me standing there and watching while he killed you?'

'I would have preferred you telling me you took the Tesseract!' Up to this point he had managed to keep his voice calm, but now he screamed. 'I would have preferred you letting him kill me instead giving him an Infinity Stone as a present! I would have preferred you having faith in me, just once. Once, Loki! Once in centuries!'

Loki opened his mouth, but Thor didn’t give him the opportunity of saying anything. Angrily he brushed away a single tear from his cheek. 'I should have died on this ship, together with Asgard. With you. But no, I’m stuck on Midgard. And I’m _not_ dead, am I?'

Slowly Loki shook his head. 'No, you’re not.' 

Thor snorted. 'Great.' 

The following silence hung heavily between them. Thor already regretted yelling at his brother, but it was too late to use a more composed voice. He half expected Loki to stand and leave him for good.

'I’m not good at sharing my secrets,' Loki said finally. 'If I told you we would have fought and screamed and you would have been sulking in your room for months. I was not in the mood for arguing. I just wanted - peace, I suppose.' 

'Loki - there is no peace with an Infinity Stone in your pocket,' Thor answered wearily. 

'I know.'

'Then why you took it?'

His brother stared at him incredulously. 'Do you recall who I am? I was not capable of leaving it behind. They don’t call me the ‘God of Mischief’ because I tend to do the right thing.'

'So Surtur would have been able to destroy the Tesseract?'

'No. His fire would have submitted to its might, and the outcome would be exactly the same.'

Thoughtfully Thor nodded and they fell quiet again. The silence stretched, but didn’t become uncomfortable. After several minutes Thor believed he heard distant chatter.

'Do your hear the voices?' 

Loki frowned. 'I don’t hear anything besides the sea.'

'I think they talk about sandwiches...' Thor’s voice trailed of. 'They’re gone.'

He glanced up to Loki’s face, who sighed. 'It seems that our time together will come to an end soon.' 

Thor squinted at him. 'You appear regretful.'

'It’s not our first farewell...' Loki said hesitantly.

'But the last?' Thor smiled sadly.

Loki looked away. 'You know - what I said to Thanos -'

'About killing me away? I didn’t really appreciate that part.'

Now Loki smiled. 'I can imagine. I’m sorry for that. He knew as well as I did that I would not let you die, but I tried to feign him. Feign me. Pretend I could watch you die.' 

'It’s hardly conceivable you could not. I lost count on how often you wanted to kill me yourself.' 

'Did I?' His voice was barely audible. 

'It occurred to me.' Thor rose. 'You said a lot of things to Thanos, and I know you better than believing your words had no inner meaning. I wondered especially about “Odinson”. After all you accepted Father?' 

To his surprise Loki seemed to think about the question carefully. Finally, he shrugged. 'I don’t know. And I don’t think it matters now. I never was able to please Odin, but I don’t have the wish to do so anymore. When I call myself his son, it’s not because of him. It is because “Odinson” means “Friggason”. And -'

'”Thorbrother”?’ Thor guessed hopefully. 

'Maybe.'

They shared an earnest look. Thor suddenly realized that Loki’s last pledge applied to him, rather than being a simple distraction for Thanos. _Undying fidelity_. 

He knew better than pushing his brother to admit it. Instead, he offered his hand and Loki took it. He pulled him to his feet, but did not let go yet. 

'I sense that my body wishes to wake,' he told his brother. He felt a distant pull, getting stronger minute by minute.

Loki eyed their linked hands. 'You should grant it that wish.' 

Thor looked down on their hands, too. 'I’m not sure about that. If I wake, I may never see you again.' 

'Don’t become sentimental.' 

'I want to be sentimental! You had the Tesseract, you could go everywhere in the universe. But you decided to come to me. Why?'

'You always ask why, though you know the answers.' 

'I’d like to hear it from your mouth. I don’t tell anyone, I promise!'

'No. Besides, you have no one left you could tell.'

'That was a punch below the belt. Please.'

'No.'

'Please!'

'No.'

'I say it first then. I love you, brother. I really do. Your turn.'

'No.'

'This is a dream, isn’t it? So I can make you say it.' 

Loki smirked. 'Try.'

And Thor did. But despite all of his attempts, Loki stayed unimpressed by his request. 

'It’s not working,' Thor said strained. It took him a great effort to withstand the unseen force which pulled on his body, eager to take him away from his brother. 

'So maybe it’s not a dream,' Loki gave back. Before Thor could ask what his words meant, Loki dragged him near and hugged him tight. Thor didn’t question it. A few precious moments they held each other, before Loki gently freed himself of Thor’s firm grip and cleared his throat. 

Thor blinked away some tears. 'I’m very disappointed. You promised sunshine.' 

For an instant Loki gazed at him confused, then he caught a glimpse of the moon. And he started laughing, clear and with no sign of resentment. At that moment Thor’s vision blurred and all went black again.

 

 

 

'Wake,' a gentle voice said, and Thor jumped to his feet.

He was in a spaceship, much smaller than the _Statesman_. Though he sensed the presence of people behind him, he has not yet turned around. Instead, he welcomed the pain he perceived from every part of his body. 

The pain assured him he was alive.

He was alive and his brother was dead. 

Thor closed his eye for one second that felt like eternity and remembered their last conversation. He was uncertain if it was a dream, an illusion, imagination or an actual vision. But he was sure that he would not rest until Thanos paid for what he did. 

He pushed the familiar, dull ache in his heart aside. There was a time for mourning, but not now. Now was time for revenge. After all he was an Avenger and it undoubtedly _was_ this kind of thinking. 

Finally, he turned to face the future, and the strangest bunch of people he had ever seen was revealed to his glance. With a deep sigh he asked the only rational question.

'Who the hell are you guys?'


End file.
